When I first got clean and sober, I wish someone would have sat me down and handed me this a guide like this.  This is all of the stuff that you need to know but it’s almost impossible to figure out until you actually live through it.

I’m going to try and do you a favor and clue you in early.  If you’re in early recovery or just thinking about getting clean, here are some things you can expect:

1) Everyone underestimates the task of staying clean at first - so be aware that nearly everyone who tries to get clean has to try at least a few times before they even make it to 30 days clean.  The task at hand is monumental and nearly everyone underestimates it.

This is because of conditioning.  When we approach other tasks in life we expect that a modest effort will produce modest results.  With recovery this is not true.  A modest effort will ensure relapse.  You have to swing for the fences.

In other words: It’s going to be difficult.

2) Networking becomes less effective over time – in the beginning, having support is great.  It’s all about helping each other to stay clean, right?  What they never tell you is that this will only carry you so far in recovery – then you have to start creating a new life for yourself.  The extent to which you depend on others for your recovery is the extent to which you are vulnerable to relapse.

In other words: Recovery is your personal responsibility.  You will find that you cannot outsource this.

3) All the sayings and slogans are wrong or at least misguided – “meeting makers make it”….oh really?  Then why do so many keep showing up and getting their one day tag over and over again?  Some of the sayings might be helpful for you at times but beware that they are edging out your ability to have some original thinking.  Find what works for you in recovery and apply it.  Repeating cliches like a robot in 12 step meetings does not keep someone clean.

In other words: Learn to think for yourself.  Your long term sobriety depends on it.

4) Abstinence is the baseline; true recovery is in creation – what the heck does that mean?  It means that quitting the drugs and the booze is just a start, and the real path to long term recovery comes from creating a new life for yourself.  Recovery is about action.  Living is about doing stuff.  If all you do is give up the drugs, you’re going to be in for a struggle.

In other words: Find your passion in recovery.  This might take some time.  But it’s worth the journey.

5) Spiritual growth is not the solution - holistic growth is the solution.  Holistic meaning “your whole self” – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social.  Our addiction affected every part of our being so why would the solution just be spiritual?  It’s not.  The solution is bigger than that.  Therefore the optimal approach to a successful recovery is a holistic one in which you push yourself to grow in several areas of your life.

In other words: Recovery is about growth and learning, not just spiritual principles and meetings.

6) Quitting drugs and alcohol is not elimination, but instead is a structural change - This is especially true if you are young.  The causes of teenage drinking and drug use are not so clear cut as you would think. What we want is not to simply eliminate the drugs and alcohol from our lives, but instead to make sweeping structural changes.  Why?  Because that is what it will take to make the changes really stick.  Structural change means big changes, from the people we hang out with every day to how we spend our free time and possibly even what job we work at.  They have a saying in traditional recovery: “The only thing you have to change is everything.”  They are talking about big structural changes that impact your entire life.  If  you are young and have heavy peer influence then how can you expect to remain clean without getting new friends?  You can’t.  Plain and simple.  That is why structural change is so important.

In other words: A bunch of little changes won’t cut it.  You need big change to recover.  One short cut to this would be long term treatment.

7) Growth in recovery is almost never linear - This is misleading because in so many other endeavors of our lives, growth is fairly constant and linear.  But in recovery we struggle for a long time in early recovery without seeing any huge gains.  Some people are still fairly miserable for the first few months or even years of sobriety.  If you are on a path of holistic growth then what will happen is all of the benefits will start kicking in over the long term.  That means you are going to have to be patient in order to reap the real benefits of recovery.  But when they come, they will come in spades, so it pays to keep on trudging through early recovery.

In other words: Understand that growth will be slow in early recovery, but will accelerate as you maintain sobriety over the long term.  The rewards will kick in if you are patient.

Everyone says that recovery is simple but not easy. This is false.  Recovery is complicated – Let’s back up a second here.  Addiction is complicated.  You did not become addicted to drugs and alcohol overnight.  Instead, you were made into an addict over time.  We self medicated for a variety of reasons and covered  up different emotions with our using and so on.  Our lives became a tangled up mish-mash of drug addiction.  Not only that, but our addiction affected us mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, and so on.  Therefore, the solution is necessarily complicated as well.  If we want to grow in recovery and truly overcome addiction then we have to address all of those areas of our lives.  This means we need holistic growth that addresses the whole person.

In other words: Addiction is complicated.  Recovery is therefore complicated as well.  That is why we need a holistic approach that addresses our entire person.

9) There are 2 stages of recovery – It makes sense to break recovery into 2 stages: early recovery and long term recovery.  They are very different and you must approach them differently.  Early recovery might consist of the first 90 days or so.  For some people it might be up to the first 2 years.  We are talking about the initial detox period followed by the overwhelming task of learning how to live again.  In this stage you will typically have thoughts of using every single day.  This is an intense learning stage.  In long term recovery, we are still learning of course, but not so intensely any more.  We also have days where we do not even have a single thought of using drugs.  Our focus shifts from one of learning to one of growth.  This is an important idea because many people stay stuck in the first stage of recovery without transitioning to real growth in long term sobriety.  In other words they treat themselves as babies in the recovery game and never push themselves to really grow holistically.

In other words: Recognize that there are 2 stages and act accordingly.  Push yourself to transition to the second stage if you have not done so already.  Recovery is about living.

10) The number one enemy in long term recovery is complacency - In long term recovery, the main enemy is no longer resentments.  Instead it is complacency.  Your task is to grow holistically and create the life you really want for yourself.  What is your gift to the world?  How can you reach out and help others with your talents?  This is the question that should drive  you in long term recovery and if you are working a good program then you will continue to push yourself to grow at this point.  Doing so is the best prevention against relapse.  This is how to overcome complacency – by pushing yourself to grow.

In other words: The only enemy in long term recovery is getting lazy.  You need to take continuous action and push yourself to keep learning and growing.  Do so and the rewards of recovery will continue to bless you.

Another helpful article from addiction help resource.